


transit

by 3dgrace (fixwithgold)



Series: Whumptober 2020 [8]
Category: Three Days Grace (Band)
Genre: 2013 adam but make it sympathetic, Angst, Bandom - Freeform, Feels, Gen, Relationship Problems, Whumptober 2020, i think i described this as "what if the trash man was sad" dkfhsdk, transit era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:48:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26902378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fixwithgold/pseuds/3dgrace
Summary: Whumptober Day 8Prompt: Where Did Everybody Go?Why did he leave?
Series: Whumptober 2020 [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1947046
Kudos: 2





	transit

It had been a long time since he felt this alone surrounded by people. And this time the ones who had helped him were the farthest away, even as they sat together writing music. Things were supposed to be different. They should have been different.

And something _was_ different, but it was wrong. Everything felt so empty: the lyrics, the electronic elements Neil had pushed for and everyone had looked at him weird for protesting, the way they were marketing the album.

_Some things will never happen again in your lifetime!_

He tried everything he could think of to fix it, to jar something loose so things could feel right again. He changed his style, went more casual for interviews and music videos and a little more out there for shows. He climbed trusses at venues, hoping to find some new energy while they performed.

When that didn't work, he started hinting that he knew something was wrong. Self-deprecating comments, long silences, obvious moods. Nobody asked. Nobody cared.

He kept getting sick, and he knew he sounded like shit.

He soon realized he was the only one feeling the emptiness weighing on him. Brad, Neil, and Barry were as close as always, and Dani fell easily into their banter like he'd always been part of the group. Adam didn't blame him. It was always easy to have fun with them. Should have been, at least.

And that was how he realized that he couldn't fix the problem; he _was_ the problem. Somewhere along the way, he'd managed to stop being part of the group everywhere but officially. He didn't know how or when, but it had happened. He was pretty sure.

But it wasn't like he could just _ask_ for confirmation without sounding like a complete idiot.

_Hey, uh, weird question, but do you guys just not like me anymore?_

So fake a smile it was, watch how his friends' faces fell from laughing back to indifferent when the cameras cut off, and lay awake at night wondering when it had happened. What he'd done wrong.

But he couldn't take it anymore. Couldn't keep waking up every day knowing they didn't care, didn't want him around anymore.

So he ran. And he pushed away as hard as he could to make sure he couldn't go back, to make sure they couldn't change their minds or lie to themselves about still wanting him.

Brad tried to stop him, and maybe it was genuine, but it was far too late to fix things now. He flung insults at them, let himself be bitter and hateful because it was so much easier. He didn't let them know that the way some of the fans treated Matt made him sick. Of course he wanted to apologize for not realizing that would happen, but to do so would be to admit to the act and bring it crumbling down around him.

Better to just disappear. They would be happier once he did.


End file.
